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Developing habits of success in turbulent times

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit". - Will Durant

When the world around us feels like it's in a state of uncertainty, turmoil, and chaos, the best thing we can do is focus on the things we can control.

And the thing that has the most power for creating success and goodness in our lives are the small daily routines and consistent acts that build momentum and confidence.

Join me as I share simple, practical strategies for developing your success.
Transcript
Okay. Hello. Welcome. Welcome, everyone. Thank you for joining me today. I hope you're off to a great start for the week and I'm excited to be connecting with you today. I, you know, over these times I, I have this time together today, I hope that we can identify some areas in which we may be able to see some roadblocks and be able to work through them together.

I just wanted to formally introduce myself. My name is Nicole O'Sullivan, and I'm someone who is dedicated to helping others truly understand themselves, and what pushes or blocks you from becoming anyone you wish to be. I do this by measuring individual levels of emotional intelligence. When I do this, I can quickly identify gaps, strengths, weaknesses, and any special way of seeing how someone can achieve or not achieve goals either individually or within a company.

So if I combine this with my 14 years of travel experience, so travel industry experience, I've discovered that so much about myself. But most importantly, I've also discovered a lot about others and so how I can actually look at motivating individuals to achieve outstanding team goals and performances, but also individual goals as well. So, throughout the career of 14 years, I've had various roles. I've worked through retail, so face-to-face with consumers. I've worked in a wholesale agency area (so B2B), and I've also done sales coaching.

I've been an area manager, which meant that I had over 200 people reporting to me directly. And I've done these roles both in Australia and in the USA. So, I almost lived for six years in America. I started in 2011, I moved to Las Vegas, which was pretty awesome. So, I guess my official title was, The Working Girl in Vegas. And I, then also after a year working there and understanding the industry and the customers and the clients, I was able to then move across to New Jersey where I moved to Hoboken, which if anyone knows Hoboken or Frank Sinatra fan, for example, that's where Frank Sinatra was born and raised. And also Cake Boss, so if you're into the Cake Boss cable channel, that's where that originated as well. So, I loved living in Hoboken. It was 15 minutes to get from door-to-door from my house to the middle of Manhattan, which was fantastic.

So I've got to say that Yeah, my, I am enjoying though being back in Melbourne and the reason why I love being back in Melbourne is that right now I'm the proud Auntie of my nephew Ruben, who's featured there on the left, and he just turned one on the fourth of May, which was a little bit of an ISO birthday for a little guy, but that's alright. And also, I'm a proud mom of my furbaby Nash, who currently is hiding under my doona cover because he's probably sick of hearing me babble on and talking.

So throughout my career, I've been through some pretty incredible highs, some pretty low lows but this is what shaped me in who I am today. And even though at the time, I hadn't realized it, but I wouldn't change anything because from what I've been able to experience and do, it's, it's just made me who I am and be able to get through challenging times. So right now with COVID-19, this is just another chapter or another experience that we've got to chalk up. It can be anything that you wish it to be, you can either let it break you, or you can let it rise you up and make you and so I hope today that what we can do is talk a little bit about a few things that can help identify those roadblocks and give you some clear or clarity around how we're going to be able to move forward through this. So during my leadership roles, the most important thing that I've learned is to stay true to my true values. It's taken me a little while to truly understand them and I'm sure you can probably appreciate when someone asks you what your values are and you have to think sometimes about what they are or you think, is there a quiz online that will tell me what they are. But I guess what happens is, you know, through this journey that I've taken, it has run through about what is important to me. And what it does stand out or keeps me grounded, is the fact that it's all about serving others for me. And it's all about getting fulfilment when I help other people understand how they can find their potential and grow themselves.

So because this is one of my top values, I've been able to leverage my knowledge of emotional intelligence to better understand myself, but also really learn to understand others. So, what I've been able to do is understand that everybody has a story to tell, but it's important to listen to that story deeply. People, when you listen deeply, you hear some incredible things. You find out things about people's beliefs. They tell you about their upbringings, their religious beliefs, lots of different things that they've experienced in their life. This can then lead to understanding why people behave the way they behave, or why they have feelings about certain things. This then flows into a deeper understanding as to why or why not goals may be achieved or not achieved. So, the more we invest time in ourselves and understand why we think or behave in certain ways, or how we receive information, respond to information, we can find ways of how we can motivate ourselves to achieve whatever it is that we want to achieve.

Recently, I was working with a small travel company in the United States in Santa Rosa, California. And I first started with this company about a year ago and they started with about 12 consultants selling travel either B2C, so consumer, and also B2B, so to the travel agent as well. Now when I first started with them, the reason why they wanted me to come out was that their conversion was about 3%. Now, this company was very online-based, so lots of inquiry always generated through the internet or the phone. So the 3% was their average conversion. So I was brought over there to do some sales training.

Now, I guess true to myself. Like I said before, it's all about my people. So I had to understand why was that at 3%, let's understand what's going on with our people. So what I did was I sat down with each individual and to talk a little bit through what they were finding that they were loving about their job, but also what they were finding that was roadblocking them from actually feeling confident to ask for the customers booking, but also to understand the booking process as well, because maybe that had something to do with it. So after I was there for one week, I flew back to Melbourne and then touch base with the consultants and the leadership team. And then within that next month, they had their best record revenue that they've ever had as a company. So then after six months working with them constantly and touching base and connecting with their people, coaching their leadership team on how to listen to their people effectively with that conversion grew from 3% to over 20% in six months.

This then resulted in their year on year revenue growing 67% in that year. So, really what that shows is that when you understand what people think, and believe, and behave, then numbers and results will organically grow because we're actually investing time in our people and truly take time to understand them. So today, what we're going to do is we're going to uncover some concepts that I've constantly used in my career to ground me, guide me, and direct me so that I'm hoping these concepts can kind of do the same thing for you as well. So what we're going to cover off on today are things that you may be feeling at the moment. Feeling a little bit that is confronting you.

Maybe some fears that you may be feeling about the current climate. And then what we're going to do is we're going to dive deep into why we may be feeling that way because we might be feeling a little bit like we're making some bad decisions, or we're a little bit uncertain around how to manage our frustrated customers out there and also worrying about the survival of our businesses. I'm also going to give you some tools on how to increase your emotional intelligence, and also managing crisis and also counter-attacking and fighting back here and not feeling like we're stuck in victim mode a little bit. I'm going to touch on some things or my concepts that we're going to go over is is beliefs and behaviours. I'm gonna... the grief cycle a little bit, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and emotional intelligence. So, shop in guys, this is going to be a lot of fun and I'm excited that you're here with me. So thank you so much again for joining.

So, what I always start with, and now anybody that's ever worked with me will know that if they walk in towards room, they'll always see this triangle. This is something that is my compass. And I sometimes have to pinch myself that I've never tattooed this on my body because I love it so much. So here's the thing. With beliefs, it always is the baseline of everything that we do in life. So let's start with results. So results, the smallest of the triangle part of the pyramid, but it's really about understanding what it is that gets you out of bed every day to help you strive to get that achievement. So results for right now could be anything from big or small. It could be, I want to get that refund back for that customer today, and I'm going to do everything that I can to get that done for that person. It could be, I want to cook a meal from scratch during COVID because I always think on a Friday I'll drive home and get fish and chips instead, so let's make my fish and chips. It could be you know where you want to be in a relationship. What you want to achieve in terms of your health. It could be that you want to buy a house or a car eventually. But results can be anything that you feel motivated to do. So it's important to identify what goals it is that you do want to have, if you don't have or you're not writing down goals, I'd encourage you to do that. Write something down, whether it's like I said, small or large, it doesn't matter. But it's got to have something in terms of what it is that you're excited to achieve and feel fulfilled if you do it. The second part of the triangle is your behaviours. Now, this is what I call the magic, this is where the magic sources or this is where the magic happens. This is where we have to do a lot of hard-work heavy lifting. This is some discipline areas. So also when we feel uncomfortable as well. So no one likes feeling uncomfortable. I acknowledge that. And there are times that I've set a goal and then thought, Oh God, there's no way I want to do that today. So this is where, or why the behaviour is the magic source. So the more you can understand that's it the result it is that you're striving for, what are the behaviours that you have to be doing every single day to help you to achieve that result, either sooner, sooner rather than later.

The important thing to understand here though is that the reason why there's a big black line between behaviours and the next part of the belief triangle is that the fact that there's a roadblock here. So, roadblocks are something that we create or manifest ourselves. So a roadblock is something that you will tell yourself about why you can't achieve it. It's that little Jiminy Cricket that sits on your shoulder and tells you all the reasons why it's not a good idea or let's just leave it for another time or anything like that. So let's take, for example, a diet. I know for me, I've been on thousands of diets and the reason why I keep going back onto a diet is that that I've let my inner roadblock or my inner excuses change my behaviour or not push me up to get uncomfortable so therefore my result isn't what I would love it to be. So, therefore, I just go and see, I knew that it wouldn't work, so why would I do it again? So this is why roadblocks are really important to understand and identify that we're the ones that create our roadblocks and it's about how do we navigate through that. The last part of the triangle, of course, is your belief system. So this is where everything happens. This is where, you know, our thoughts and behaviours stemmed from. These are personal though. So personal beliefs are because of the things that you've experienced in your life. So you know, you can form a belief from your, from childhood so you know, from when you were little, from working experiences through school experiences, through your own experiences. So you might have tried something and it didn't work or it did work. And so you start to form your belief system that way. It's an inward conviction. So it's deep feelings of certainty about certain things. So they're mental and emotional as well. So the one thing you have to know here, though, is that you're the only one who can ever change your belief. So for example, what we're going to talk about today, I'm influencing your belief system right now but I can never change your belief. They have something that you have to decide that you need to do and then you need to figure out, then what your behaviours become to then, therefore, then change results. So ultimately, belief is something that you can control. So I love the saying you have to believe it to achieve it because it rings true. The power of our mind is whatever it is that you feed it. So don't, if you believe in, if you don't believe in something enough, you'll find it hard to get the motivation and stick to a plan, meaning that you won't achieve those results that you're setting yourself out to achieve. So because those roadblocks and excuses will stick in. The most important thing for you at the moment is to be intuitive about that inner voice that starts to tell you why you can or can't do something. So it's about really using that initiative to identify and I don't know about you, but I know I sit there and go, Wait for a second, I just roadblocked myself, why did I roadblock myself and then it's about identifying that roadblock and figuring out a way around it. If you let it roadblock you, it's just going to keep blocking and you're never going to move forward. So what we're going to do is start by talking about how we may be feeling right now. So either yourself, a friend, or a family member, maybe even your customers are going through what we are calling now, the grief cycle. So I feel like if we go over this now it'll kind of link into a little bit of the belief system.

So these are the, you know, before I do that, let me just explain a little bit. So linking this to from our beliefs as I mentioned earlier, these are going to be things that are presented to us right now, the reality is none of us has ever experienced this kind of thing to the extreme that it is right now. So it's really easy to slip into this cycle that I'm about to explain to you. So because of our beliefs from the things that we're hearing and seeing on TV, and I don't know about you, but I have had stages of being in isolation where I've constantly been on social media, I've constantly been watching the news. And the feed starts to form some beliefs about what's kind of happening. And this is why I'm talking about the stages of grief right now, it's like important to identify where you potentially are yourself or with friends or family or customers may be sitting in this cycle. So then you can navigate through how to kind of deal through this. So the first stage of the grief cycle is denial. So not denial in Egypt, it's denial. So this is what I, for example, let me give you an example of denial. So, I can give you my firsthand experience of this happening to me during COVID-19. So like I've mentioned to you before, I was in the United States, helping out a team in Santa Rosa, California. And so as soon as COVID-19 kind of hit, I flew into the USA and I got there in February, and I was scheduled to stay there till May. And so I get there and COVID-19 hits and every, all the media hype starts to blow up. And I am in denial, complete denial. This is an absolute load of rubbish. This isn't gonna help like, this is just ridiculous. The media is just hyping this up, it's gonna blow over, it'll be fine. I don't have a flight book till May, it'll be fine. So total denial, absolutely not accepting the fact that what was happening. And until one day I woke up when I had about 20 missed calls on my phone saying you better get your butt home, otherwise, you're not going to be able to get home. So the first stage of grief is denial, okay? Once you've moved through denial the next stage is anger. So let's think about this toilet paper fights. What the hell was that about? Punching, yelling. Who the hell cared about toilet paper before COVID-19 happened. So what happens now is that people are expressing their anger. People don't always externalize anger, it's often internalized and how you identify that is by people who become frustrated, and they move through that anger and frustration stage. And then they get to that stage of blame. So with blame, we start to like blame for the whole situation. So for example, it's China's fault that this is happening. It's the government's fault that they didn't lock the borders down sooner. It's our state government or our state leaders who should have not let those people off that ship. It's my boss's fault and how they're handling this whole situation.

So people come up with crazy ideas on how to blame someone else. They think right now, so I think about right now. Do you have any family or friends or work members who may be in that anger stage, or they're getting frustrated and blaming others and not taking acceptance of the responsibility of what the things that they can control at the moment? What happens after blame is the fourth stage of the grief cycle. And that's where we get a little bit sad and depressed. Life gets bad and we feel like we're spiralling fast. So we're slipping into survival mode a little bit. If you're working remotely, and you're isolated, then this can trigger that feeling of being locked up and makes us feel sad and depressed and alone. So one thing you need to realize is that feelings are feelings and you're allowed to feel the way you feel. The thing is, is that that layering of understanding as to why we're feeling this way, so remember, feelings are valid, they're personal, and you're allowed to feel stressed and scared and sad. But the power of saying and expressing the emotion so that you can move into the fifth stage of the cycle which is acceptance.

Okay, so people can finally admit right now that COVID-19 is not going anywhere, right right away. We can either stay angry, but it's not going to change anything. We can blame others, but blaming doesn't improve the situation either. And we can get depressed, sit on the couch, eat comfort food, and feel worse. But again, it doesn't change our situation. The only thing that changes the situation is the way that we accept the situation that we're in currently right now. Accept full responsibility for the way that we think, that we feel and that we act. And then we understand that these stages are good when we recognize why or how we're feeling this way. But if you, if you're getting yourself into a, into acceptance, there's a couple of things that I'd like you to think about or ask yourself. I want you to think about three questions specifically. The first question I want you to ask yourself, whenever there's a situation when you're feeling like you're going through this grief cycle is number one, what can I do right now to control this situation? Number two is, is there anything that I can do to influence another outcome because of this situation? And the third question is, is if I can't control the situation, or I can't influence a different outcome, then the only thing that I can do right now is, accept what it is and I can have to just move on. So remember, no great battle was ever won on the defence, unless you watch Game of Thrones, of course, because that just blows that theory out the window down, doesn't it?

Now, what we can do is we can either move forward and how we do that is we attack by not getting overwhelmed with ourselves and trying to figure out all these steps all at once. Just take one step at a time, figure out what the first step's going to need to be to take, and then these following steps will just flow from there. The thoughts in our minds can either be a positive one or a negative one and then those that you're doing, remember about the belief triangle as well. So when you believe something it manifests the behaviour, which then gives you a result. So, if you become what you think most of the time, it is what it becomes. So focus on the results, stick to the daily disciplines, and the plans that you're putting in place and you will get yourself there. Now, I'd like to talk to you a little bit about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Now, I don't know if you've heard of this before but this is apparent right now with the things that were happening in our businesses. So let's talk a little bit about how we can manage, relate, and communicate with zero confusion to ourselves and others. I know that, now that we've talked about our beliefs, and how they sort of start to form, and then how we can go or manage through the grief cycle. What we want to do is we want to think about that only a few months ago there's a lot of us that were feeling that, you know, we're on top of that world but right now we're getting some crossed wires. We're talking to customers that are angry and confused and frustrated. So, now knowing through this system, it's going to be or through this pyramid system here again and I know there's a lot of pyramids, but I promise you, it makes it easy to navigate through. So with this one, what we're going to talk about is the top of Maslow's level of the hierarchy and what this means is that the top part here were all the little lines are, that's called self-actualization. Now we're achieving our goals and our objectives and we had a sense of financial freedom. We didn't have to worry about anything. And our businesses were going well. Some of us felt like we're in that high self-esteem and high self-worth space, where, you know, we're strengthening our businesses, we're getting recognized in our fields, we're winning awards, we're, you know, doing lots of great things. We're feeling really good about the job that we were doing. Then we became they're the level of belongingness. Okay, so those of us who love to socialize of building up our relationships, we love getting those rapports really pumping, getting praise and praising others, you know, really connecting with others specifically.

So, now you bring on COVID-19. Boom. Happens. Okay, so those of us who are sitting in self-actualization, a lot of us are now feeling like our self-worth and our esteem is kind of hurting a little bit. That sense of belonging, we've kind of slid right down the bottom here, and we're, you know, in isolation, and we've got no connection. So right now, the two spaces that we are we want to focus on is the safety and the survival space. Okay, I truly believe that 80 to 90% of the population right now is sitting in these bottom two sections. Essential to know this because it's going to be able to determine how you're now going to be able to communicate to customers today. People have had business success, we're awarded for excellent work that we're doing. Now, all they can think about is food, shelter, and money. That is it, nothing else can they think about because this, they're in survival mode. So people who have had lost their businesses or jobs, little to no income, if you're not communicating to somebody at a level of survival, so helping them work out where their next meal is coming from, then you may as well talk to a brick wall because your message is just going to fall on deaf ears. If you're talking to your customers at the moment at the self-actualization level about, for example, booking their next exotic holiday, then this could stir up some emotions that maybe aren't too nice. This is what we call mismatching, or we're breaking rapport. Okay, so for some of you out there, you've probably got some really good relationships with the customers and you're getting frustrated as to why they're acting or behaving or butting heads with you is because we're not talking to them at the level that they're sitting in in the hierarchy zone right now.

So remember that we have three ways of responding to any situation it's, fight, flight, or freeze. So probably the majority of your customers right now are in that fight zone. So it's important to get curious as to what level your customers are at right now. And again, if they are at that safety level, focusing, just focusing on keeping their door open and you know, you're having money coming through, not thinking more than a week into the future. That's really where we need to be communicating at them. So thinking safety for their families and the employees. So present offers have a level of safety, so show that you've got a product or service that can ensure their safety for the short term. So if you are leading a team, if you're a team leader or a manager, just think about your people in your business. What what are they going through at the moment, give them little goals like week-goals at a time. So that they're focusing and concentrating on something that gives them clarity and focus and purpose. There's nothing worse than them feeling insecure about the safety within your organization. So remember, if you communicate to your customers, and your team or family at the level of self-actualization, where they used to be at, and now communicating at a level of esteem belongingness, and they're not there yet, then again, your message is just gonna fall flat. So you've probably experienced this when you've talked to somebody and you're giving them advice, and you're feeling like they're just blankly staring at you. And they're nodding and smiling, going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know I need to do that. But they never actually do anything. So the reason probably for that is because they just aren't at that level that you might be talking to them at. So again, just this is where it is really important to identify those levels that people are sitting in. So adjust your messaging, be flexible, and understanding that each person could be on a different level. And the way you're going to get the best response from them is by matching their level.

Okay. So this segues perfectly now into our emotional intelligence pillars. So this is something like I said that I really specialize in and I really love to dig deep in and it does connect everything that we've talked so far, really perfectly. So what this does is it leads in from Maslow's, as I said, and our and our belief triangle. And so there are five actual measures, key areas of measuring our emotional intelligence. So what we're going to do is we're going to go through each of the steps together, and hopefully you can sort of start to the path that way of how we can start to talk to our customers and ourselves through these next few weeks. So the first step of social, emotional intelligence is self-awareness. Self-awareness means understanding and, the understanding of our thoughts and feelings. And it's about understanding our strengths and our weaknesses and understanding what we want or we don't want in life. It's asking these kinds of questions of ourselves. What am I experiencing right now? What might be, what might I be experiencing that? Or why might I be experiencing that and how is it impacting my ability to perform? The second pillar of emotional intelligence is self-regulation. This means the ability to regulate your thoughts and feelings. So we have 90,000 thoughts per day, those thoughts influence 95% of your feelings. So if you can learn how to regulate your thoughts more effectively, you'll have more control of your feelings. So you can ask yourself questions like this through self-regulation, what could or should I do about this? Why should I or shouldn't I? And how can I appropriately express or impact what I'm experiencing? The third pillar of emotional intelligence is motivation. So remember what we talked about with the belief triangle and the behaviour section. This is exactly what it is. It's about that motivation. Lots of people being pushed into an uncomfortable zone right now through COVID-19. But it's all linked together, behaviour, motivation, it all is the driver. So when we fall out of our comfort zone, we don't know how to think or feel. We don't know how to act because we're moving into new territory. Our body naturally brings us back to our comfort level, we want to be comfy. Okay, so we want to start to believe, we start to believe our own story. So we start to say things like, well, I just want things to go back to normal, or we create roadblocks again that tell ourselves well, I see I tried this and it didn't work so I'm not going to try that again. So just remember that you have to keep going and always keep going. And when it comes to motivation, we have to have a lot of motive. So what is the reason why? Why should I change the way I do things? Why should I get uncomfortable? So have you heard of the Chinese, the Japanese proverb, get knocked down eight times stand back up nine times, or this for me is the best description of motivation. The majority of us like I said, I've been knocked down and will stay down but if we get up one more time, we're gonna stand out. So dig deep, and find out what that motivation is that gets you out of bed every day. Ask yourself things like, what is my overarching goal or objective? Be clear about that. Why is it important to me and how can I use this situation to move closer to my goals?

Okay, so let's recap a little bit. So we've got the first three pillars of emotional intelligence. So we've got self-awareness. So what do I think and feel and why do I think and feel or why do I do what I do? What are my aims? What are my goals? What are my objectives? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What are the things that I've done to help succeed? What are the things that are holding me back? So did you know that 36% of the population can accurately describe the emotion that they're feeling at any one given time?

So, self-regulation is the ability again, to control your thoughts and feelings. Some people are on the couch right now feeling a bit locked down and letting their emotions take over. So with a clear strategy or game plan, you can gain that motivation. Take those knocks, but be focused on getting back up again. In times of rapid change, it's all about the strategies and that you can be focused on to keep you motivated and going. You may feel like you're going through your darkest days, and that's okay. You may feel like those mental or emotional ruts as well. But if you learn to regulate your thoughts and feelings more, you'll have an incredible growth and you'll achieve results that you never thought you could achieve. Acknowledge those thoughts and feelings and regulate that temperature gauge. Just remember feelings are valid, they're personalized and they are allowed, especially right now. But the key to it is is to say it out loud and recognize that feeling or emotion.

Okay, the next two pillars that we want to talk about is your empathy and our social skills. So we call this social intelligence. I believe that no sale can ever take place without empathy. And why some of the most influential leaders, the reason why they're successful is that it's down to their empathy. So four and five is the empathy and social skill space. Empathy is your ability to look across at your customer, a team member, or a family member, and accurately identify what they're thinking and feeling. This is why when we spoke about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, if you can understand where they are in the continuum of change, then you can understand what they're going through and you'll be able to strengthen rapport in your relationship with them. Think about someone you may be, what someone might be going through right now. What thoughts would they be thinking? What types of feelings maybe they're going through right now. If you can understand them and walk a mile in their shoes and fully comprehend what they're going through, then your communication is going to be superior. Empathy is the key to sales, customers, we all know only think about themselves. So, understand what their needs are, what they're looking for, and propose a solution to help them solve the problem and achieve that outcome. They will feel like you understand them more on a deeper level. And remember that the level of risk decreases and the level of trust increases when people feel like you truly understand them properly. So how do you improve your levels of empathy? So you can have high levels of empathy if you truly understand the thoughts that you are thinking and how they're making you feel as well. So to improve empathy, have, you have to improve your levels of self-awareness. If you don't understand yourself, it's kind of a little bit tricky to understand somebody else as well. So with empathy, you can start to ask things like, what may be the other person experiencing? Why might I be experiencing this? And how is this impacting them and their ability to perform? In terms of social skills, or anything like that, you can ask questions like what actions could or should I take? Why should or shouldn't I take them? And how can I positively influence the situation to leave it better than I found it?

Like I said before, part of social intelligence is your ability to communicate, I've learned that 99% of the problems in business especially is because of communication errors. So what happens at the time of stress is that we have limited bandwidth. So just like the internet, it's been hard to get a solid connection right now. In times of stress, people have been limited or have limited capacity to tuning in and hearing what it is that you're saying. So during times of rapid change, you have to be sure that you are communicating with minimal errors. So be able to look at customers, team members, and constantly check-in and be sure that they understand what you're saying, but not to the point where you're making them feel pressured, or that you’re making them feel that you don't trust them. So how do you do that right now? Well, my suggestion is, is that you slow down your communication, solve the most basic needs first, and to establish great communication, the first thing you need to do is accept responsibility for what you say and also how you say it. My suggestion was also to write it out. So think about the outcome, or the things that you'd like to say, and make sure your message connects with that other person. Just remember we're 100% emotional human beings. Okay, so, the more you can communicate on an emotional level, the more you will dial into the responses that you are expecting to get back from them. Okay.

Hi. So let me ask you, hopefully, you're enjoying this so far. If you do have any questions about what I've talked about, please please, please feel free to write to me or schedule a quick call and, I'd love to be able to chat you through some of this stuff.

So, let's a recap. So we started by talking about the power of belief. We've talked about how we can achieve absolutely anything if you believe enough of it and are prepared to get uncomfortable and try new things to achieve your goals. We also took a look at the grief cycle, and how to navigate through. It starts with denial, turns into anger, moves into blame, then into sadness and depression. Once you go through those stages, and you get to the acceptance level, you can now actually start to produce results in your own life and the life of others by accepting what it is and just keep moving forward.

We've also learned about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. We have to be able to meet the people where they're at. The majority of the population are in survival and safety mode. So offering them products or services that will ensure their survival. If we're on that level and communicating that safety message, then it's going to get through to them and they're going to respond effectively, and not aggressively. So remember that flight fight mode as well. We've also learned about the five pillars of emotional intelligence. You've learned about self-awareness, identifying what your strengths and weaknesses are, and what you'd like or don't like, in yourself or others. We also learned about how we can leverage more of these behavioural qualities for success in which, and then there are areas of which we can also avoid to not allow us to achieve those goals. We've learned about motivation. So remember that motivation right now is the ability to just keep getting back up and aim to be pushing yourself out of that comfort, comfortable zone. Staying comfortable will not move you forward, I promise you. It will only just keep you feeling stuck. I've also learned, we've also talked about social intelligence. So there's no sale without empathy and 99% of business mistakes come from miscommunication. So, what you've got to do right now is look at people and understand where they are on that Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Where they are potentially in the grief cycle and make sure that you are taking responsibility and how you're communicating at the level that you know that they can understand you properly. So just really keep things simple in the coming weeks, have an idea of what the outcome is that you're striving for big or small. Once you know what that is, you'll trigger a part of your subconscious mind. And then once that happens, it focuses on and what will what then will happen is your most dominant thought will bring forth opportunities that are enabling you to achieve what you wanted and desire. Secondly, you've got to take action and make an action plan. So what behaviours must you be disciplined to do every single day for you to achieve those goals?

You've got to move forward and you've got to keep it going. And sometimes it's good to have a little bit of measurement so that you can kind of be able to pat yourself on the back when you get some little winds on the board. There's nothing worse than feeling like you're putting all this effort in and you're not seeing any return of investment. So if you'd like to take a little bit of a deeper dive into the levels of your emotional intelligence, just know that I've got quite a few tools that I can help you to navigate through that. So what I'm able to do is identify behavioural styles so that you can look at where you can look at certain areas of where you can grow. So this assessment breaks it down into self, and social and into your, each of those four quadrants or five quadrants that we talked about as well. What we can then do is identify accurately what your strengths and weaknesses are, and then we can book in a little bit of a coaching call if you'd like to do that talk over some strategies together.

So, I have loved to have you in my session with me today. I hope there have been some ideas that have helped you become a little bit more self-aware about some things that you might be feeling or others might be feeling through this time of rapid change at the moment and this disturbance that's going on in our world. So I, truly, truly appreciate the time that you've taken today to spend with me. And just know that I absolutely would love to help you mind maps, through some strategies for yourself. So please reach out to me. There's my email address right there. And what I'll do is I'll send you an email straight after this so that you can also then look at, there's a calendar link but you can schedule a call with me directly. So yeah, I would love to connect with you and navigate through this with you. So thanks so much for watching, it's so awesome to spend this 40 minutes with you. So yeah, if, I'd also love it as well, if, after you've hung up from today, if you go on to the social platform that you found this session today, and just write a little bit of a comment about your takeaway, what did you feel like spoke to you today, or what do you think you could implement in your yourself today? Because I'm trying to also grow my business footprint out there and any comments or any strategies that you feel like helped you would help me as well. So if you could do that, in return for listening to me for 40 minutes, that would be amazing. So again, thank you so so much for spending some time with me. Have a wonderful, wonderful day. And remember, keep moving forward.